Tomorrow

When I had my last appointment 6 weeks ago or so, I never thought tomorrow would get here. At least not as quickly as it did. And now here we are, less than 24 hours we will know whether we are having a baby boy or girl. The reality of it all is overwhelming, in a good sense. 

God trusted Scott and I enough to let us bring a baby into this world. That together we would raise it right, teach it wrong from right, love and provide for it... Not everyone gets to experience what we are experiencing right now. I feel an incredible love and trust from my Savior to give me this chance. And to be honest, I don't think this baby could have came at a better time. 

I've focused a lot on 'this year'. We are still trying to piece our lives back together without Boede, and we still feel his absence everyday. I think, for Scott and I, knowing that as one life was leaving us knowing we were bringing a baby into this world made the hurt a little bearable. Granted I would do anything to have Boede back. To see Scott struggle to go to work everyday is devastating, and to see his son notice him in pictures and yell for "dada" breaks me into a million pieces. I hope when Boede got to heaven God handed our child over to him, even for just a minute, and he taught him/her something-anything really. (How ironic, as I write this "I Drive Your Truck, Lee Brice, comes on Pandora. It was played at Boede's service. He's listening...) 

Tomorrow is a big day. I've had emails and texts from people just as excited as we are to find out. Grandparents are placing bets as to what Baby Nelson is, and all mom and dad can do is sit back and watch the excitement. We will be having a dinner tomorrow after work to announce to the family what we're having. As long as this baby has 2 arms, 2 legs, and is function the way a baby should be - i don't care what we are having.