One Whole Year

My little boy turned a year old on Sunday. 

I am still emotional about it. 

The concept of time, and how quickly it passes, never ceases to blow my mind. I mentioned this on an Instagram post, but there were days I didn't think I was going to survive, times I doubted myself and whether or not I should even be a mother, and the list goes on and on. No matter how hard each day is, I am happy each and every day. How could I not be with this perfect child? He is the complete light of my life. I don't remember what life was like without him. Ryker has been the missing puzzle piece that Scott and I didn't even realize we were missing. He has changed Scott and I for the better. Not only has our relationship as husband and wife improved, Scott and myself have both grown and individuals. No longer is our life ours - It is all about Ryker now. And I don't think I would change that even if I was given an opportunity.  

Ryker Kay Nelson at 12 months you:

• are a mommy's boy thru and thru
• can say 7 words - Mom, Dad (on occasion), Hi, Dog, Cat, Yum, Ball
• blow kisses, clap, flex your muscles and give "fives"
• have about outgrown 9mo clothing. You are in 12mo mainly
• still in size 3 diapers
• weight 21 pounds 13 ounces (at 9mo you weighed 20.8)
• measure 30 1/4 inches tall
• are so independent - you know what you want and when
• do not like sleep 
• It doesn't matter what we do, you just don't sleep, unless you are in bed with mom and dad being cuddled. Sometimes you will stay asleep in your crib anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. Some days you wake up the second I put you down and scream if I try laying you down again. We made the unfortunate decision to try CIO a few nights and that backfired on mom and dad. Instead of you losing steam and falling asleep, you only gained strength and cry harder. We will NEVER do that again. The Ferber Method is crap too, that only pissed you off more when we would check on you and walk away. This has been by far the hardest struggle with you. Mom is exhausted. Dad is exhausted. The dogs are exhausted. I'm hoping for a miracle. The amount of prayers I've said to just guide me what to do for you in astounding. So far, nothing is working. So, for the sanity of your mom and dad, you will sleep with us. 
• are starting to walk with your push toys - your balance is getting really good
• eat like a garbage disposal! Your favorite foods are chicken, hot dogs, and potatoes. A close second would be tomatoes, craisins, beans, and cheese
• love to give your puppies pets and pats on the head, sometimes you'll even rest your head on them
• love to play with rocks and dirt
• (which leads me to) are such a boy!! I can't believe it, you are all boy
• love licorice
• are a tornado, constantly leaving a path of destruction behind you
• enjoy getting into my paints and ribbon while you're in the office
• love riding the lawn mower with daddy while he mows the yard
• are a terrible teether. You get cranky, fussy, whiney, clingy... It's awful. I feel so bad you're hurting and I try to be patient, but there are some days I want to run far far away
• have the best giggle ever. It lights up my whole day
• are so very ticklish on your back, thighs, and collarbones
• have started to carry things around in your mouth like a dog - it's hilarious (I also blame this on teething)
• have become a biter! I have bruises on my legs and arms from your biting me. It's so hard to not wanna wack you when you do it - it really tires my tolerance
• are still exclusively breast fed!!! I never thought my milk would come in in the first place, so to still be able to nurse you has been such a huge accomplishment for me, and us! I have pumped every day, 3 times a day, for 9 months since returning to work just so you can have bottles while at grandmas. I am so over pumping it's sick, but I do it for you!
• are such an outdoorsy kid - you love the fresh air
• know what kind of tunes you like, and you will show it by doing a little dance! You stop and just start bouncing up and down in delight
• are a water baby, my goodness. You get so upset if we close the lid to the toilet and you watch it happen. Any thing left out that has water in it, you will find it and proceed to slap and make the biggest mess possible
• know where your nose and ears are and where other peoples nose is
• are good at putting things "up" and taking them "out" - which means we have to pay attention to everything in the garbage cans now
• get so happy to see me when I go pick you up from grandmas. When I grab you you will lay your little head on my shoulder
• enjoying watching out the car window
• play really well with other kids
• like to roll a ball back and forth, until you get bored and move on to the next thing
• are moving into the shy phase. When someone talks to you and you're being held, you will bury your face to hide
• are a performer; it takes you a minute to warm up to people, but then you will flex and smile and talk to them
• have completely stolen your mom and dads heart. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't thank God for sending you to us. You have been the light when we needed it, the pillar of strength we needed to focus on and most of all the greatest gift of love - not only to us, but to all of our family. You are so incredibly loved and blessed. There are some people who will go their entire lives and not feel the love you feel on a daily basis, how lucky are you?? You have changed your dad and I for the better. 
• I hope one day you will realize what an example your father is for you. He works so hard so you can have the life you deserve. We never want to tell you no. He is a smart, hard working man, who loves his family more than anything. I know he's gone a lot now, but hopefully in the near future he will be home more with us. Just know, everything he is doing now, is to benefit you and our family in the future.
• I hope I can be a positive example to you as you grow and develop. My wish for you is that you are never afraid to show emotion. It's a human feeling. Don't ever feel like you are weak just because you cry or feel sad. It's natural. Don't ever feel like that because you are a boy you should hold all your feelings in. Communication, not only with your parents but everyone, is such an important factor in life. Be confident with yourself to express things that are bothering you. You will be much happier. Finally, be respectful. Hold the door open for others, say please and thank you, use ma'am and sir, respect your elders and women. Again, look to your dad. He is a good man. He has made mistakes, but he has learned from them. He is kind and generous. 

Happy 12 months, little boy.

This has been the best year of my entire life, 

and I owe all of that to you.