One Year....

The Day I was blessed

My First Christmas

Idaho Falls Temple

Christmas 2007, Our Last Christmas

Today is a really sad day for me, it's been a year my Grandma Hazel has been gone. She is my Mother's Mother, and one of two grandparents I had. I've lost plenty of people on my life, it seems like i've grown up going to funerals since I was in First Grade, but none of them hit me like losing my Grandma. She was my silent support. Never getting mad when I failed a test, never judged when I didn't go to church. She always told me she was proud of me no matter what I did and that she knew I would overcome whatever it was I was struggling with. She was the one who would send a little yellow post-it note to me just to tell me she loved me. She never missed a dance competion, a birthday party, a church or school function. She's the one who always knew how to make life better.

I didn't realize what I would miss out on in a year without her. She wasn't there to call when I passed a test, or to tell her I got into my program, there were no birthday or Christmas cards, no more little yellow post-its. I never realized how much I would miss her little white house with green shutters in Downey. I miss going to Flags West every Sunday and listening to her order Hot Breaded Veil with Mashed and Brown Gravy. My life has a constant void without her telling me it'll be okay. Telling me how much she loves me.

I'm still in the stage where I'm mad. Mad that I'm the only Grandchild she won't get to see get married, she won't get to see me graduate college, and she won't get to see my babies. I know she'll be there, but it's not the same. I miss her so much and my heart is still so heavy from losing her. It will take time to realize I need to progress forward and realize time will always heal the pain. I am so lucky I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and that I know I will be able to see my Grandma again. I'm so lucky God has set a plan for us and that in time we will be reunited. It is through His great love and sacrifice he knows the pain I have felt this last year and for the rest of my life will feel, it is through HIM I will seek comfort.

I miss you Grammy, and I'll love you for always.

PS: Breast Cancer is a silent killer. Please, Please check yourself often and pass along the advice to your Mothers, Aunts, and any other women important to you to get Mamograms. Cancer is like a Dandelion seed, you never know where the wind will take it.....